Help Save Madeline!

by subacati

I received this plea via email today. :awww: ( :sst: it was also posted in "laughs lounge" on Facebook by Edward Piercy! :p )


There now remains only 24 hours left before my daughter's sentence hearing. And I fear the worst. She might very well end up in prison. At this point only you can save her, you the good people of the internet.

First of all, on my own behalf, I would like to say that I have done my very best for my daughter Madeline ever since her mother's commitment to the asylum for cocaine addiction and my relocation to Australia to become my company's CEO. It wasn't easy trying to raise a teenage daughter who was staying thousands of miles away with her alcoholic grandmother. And I swear I had no idea at the time that my Mom was giving her "just a wee bit" of her gin a couple times a day. I did talk with Madeline a few times during that fiscal year and to me she seemed sober — except perhaps the time she started talking about the "creepy" neighbour who kept inviting her over to play "doll house" as she strangely put it. Well I really didn't know what to make of that and I still don't.

And can I be responsible for the canings she received at the girl's boarding school in Switzerland I sent her to? Truth is, Madeline just didn't fit in there. And that's exactly what I told her on the phone mid-air as I was flying to Singapore to get the new Ramsstein-Sonne contract signed, or what at least I was trying to tell her before she broke down crying and we hit a squall and lost our connection.

Six months later Madeline called me from Florence saying that she was unhappy and wanted a real home life. So I sent her a wire for €10,000 assuming she would go back to her grandmother, or perhaps our empty but still serviceable mansion in Nashville. And in fact I didn't hear from her for several years even though she had my cell phone number. And then, just as I was preparing for the G8 conference two months ago, out of the blue I got word that poor Madeline was in jail.

Oh sure I sent my attorney over to Jacksonville to represent her. But in spite of all the money I spent my lawyer couldn't seem to sway the jury. It seems that it is hard to refute evidence when a 21 year old girl with pink hair and snake tattoo on her neck stabs a police horse with a knife down town in broad daylight. I hope that at the sentence hearing they will note that the horse hardly felt the stab wound at all, and if it weren't for the cop mounted on top of it that my Madeline's actions would hardly have been noted.

That is why it is up for you, the public, to come to her aid. I would be there myself but unfortunately by the time my plane leaves Sydney after the East Asian Broker's Convention ends it would not get to Florida in time. So I ask all of you out on the internet to act on my behalf and sign the petition to be presented at the sentence hearing. I originally wanted to offer you all $50 each for signing through PayPal, but my lawyer tells me that might not be legal. So I ask you to do it for me — a hard working man suffering from chronic jet lag.

It's up to you. Please sign the petition for Madeline.