Christmas Spam for the new year!

by subacati

I've been avoiding my email account for over a month now. So in that time, I've grown a lot of spam! :p.
firstly, one from the bank, or not! :left:.

Dear Customer,

We are proud to introduce to you our new Security program and its software features for better, faster and high secure quality securities service. Sequel to the new security measure, our records indicate that your account has not been upgraded to our new server, Please Click Here to Activate and complete your account update or you can visit any of our nearest branch for this program, registration is available.

Account Management
Absa Bank

Copyright 2008 Absa. All rights Reserved. Absa Bank Limited, Registration Number 1986/004794/06

And another one from them! :whistle:.

Absa Bank Group

Dear Customer,

During our security research, we observed that our new 2010 Security Certificate Portfolio Launch was not successfully instilled for your online account , you can complete this section
with online security page below and the program security Certificate software will be automatically Launched to protect you from any online Phishing attacks and unauthorized access into your online account, you can also visit your nearest branch for this service Certificate.

click below to activate

(fake web address deleted for your safety)

Absa Security Board.

And here's one from a different bank. :p.

Dear Valued Customer,
Due to an Ongoing enchancement on our systems, we have noticed errors in the login
details of some of our customers which you happen to be one of them. This might
be due to possible errors due to updates in our database

We however apologize for any inconvenience this might cause you, but in order to
protect your account, we require all online banking client to update their details.

In order to update your account details, click here to continue

©Nedbank Bank 2009

Strange that all banks are hosted at the same IP address isn't it? :rolleyes:.

Dear Valued Customer,
Due to an Ongoing enchancement on our systems, we have noticed errors in the login
details of some of our customers which you happen to be one of them. This might
be due to possible errors due to updates in our database

We however apologize for any inconvenience this might cause you, but in order to
protect your account, we require all online banking client to update their details.

In order to update your account details, click here to continue

©Nedbank Bank 2009

I seem to have received this one a few times! :faint:.

Now on to some customer service! Yes, apparently my customer service skills are a bit shoddy so someone is willing to improve them for me. For a fee of course! :rolleyes:.

A training provider registered with Services SETA
Presented by South Africa's leading Speakers
Dr Brian Jude and Associates present….
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF CUSTOMER SERVICE

A Dynamic Morning Seminar
The customer is king or queen. We just have to know how to make them feel that this is true. A MUST for all businesses today.

Over 62,000 delegates trained to date – Best value – Best training

Presented by Dr Brian Jude

This programme explores the do's and don'ts of superior customer service. What customers love, and what they hate… What customers perceive as being good service, and what sends them dashing off to our competitors.

Friday 22nd January 2010

Venue: Jeppe Quondam Conference Centre,

79 Boeing Road East, Bedfordview, Johannesburg.

Time: Registration 08:00 Start 08:30 Conclude 12:00

Cost: Only R650-00 per delegate (inclusive of VAT).

Registered with the Services SETA.

TARGET GROUP.

All staff who have contact with customers

OBJECTIVES.

To improve attitude and motivation to both clients and the job. To develop solid methods to effectively keep customers satisfied.

METHODOLOGY.
All training is designed to achieve maximum group attention. Fast paced and entertaining, it allows the delegates to take away real practical skills, rather than just theoretical knowledge.

TIMING.

One morning. 8:30 am to 12:00 pm.

COURSE CONTENT.

*

Are YOU delivering good service?
*

How would we know?
*

Customer care questionnaire.
*

Grading of results and their meaning.
*

A commitment to quality and service pays.
*

Why we lose customers.
*

Body language and it's effect on customer care.
*

Keeping old customers and attracting new ones.
*

Customer service defined.
*

Listening skills.
*

Developing rapport with customers.
*

WIIFM – What's in it for me?
*

What is a customer
*

The golden rule of customer care.
*

Why is customer service so bad?
*

Company mission statements.
*

Using technology.
*

Improving internal motivation.
*

What customers love.
*

What customers hate.
*

Do's and don'ts of customer service
*

Handling unhappy customers.
*

Handling irate customers.
*

The P.R.I.D.E. formula.

If we do not learn how to spoil our customers, to the point of creating superb relationships between them and us, then we face the risk of losing those customers to our competitors. This programme will show you how to deliver not just good service but EXCELLENT service.

Book NOW, space is limited

E-mail: info@superbseminars.co.za

Tel: 011 485 2150 Fax: 011 640 4916

P O Box 29176, Sandringham, Johannesburg, 2131

The information we will need is: Company name, your name, postal address, fax and phone numbers and number of delegates attending.

As a valued client or potential client, we do not want to send you e-mails that do not add value to you or your business.

If you do not want to continue getting our newsletters, product advices, special offers and information sheets, please go to the "unsubscribe" link at the end of this mail and you will be deleted from our lists.
Alternatively, reply to this e-mail, putting "unsubscribe" in the subject line.
Many thanks.

I've left all their contact details in but I make no guarrantee that they're legit :left:.

And then Richard Morris contacted me! :lol:.

I am R. Morris. A client of mine died in 2008 February 16th your name was attached to his WILL and I have been trying to reach you but all my effort proved futile Please if I get to you as I expect do get back to me for full details:

Thank you.

Richard Morris.

This next one is Scary! :insane:. Kitty! what kind of spam are you sending me! :irked::p

Ur at the fatigues they endured. The Marshal, apprized of this
circumstance, after a long day's march, drew his men up in a hollow
square, and addressing them, said, "that his legs had that day
discovered some symptoms of mutiny, as they refused to second the
impulses of his mind, which urged him forward to the attack of the
enemy's fortress." He then ordered his boots to be taken off, and some
of the drummers to advance with their cats, and flog his legs, which
ceremony was continued till they bled considerably. He put on his boots
again very coolly, expressing a hope that his legs would in future
better know how to discharge their duty. The soldiers after that marched
on without a murmur, struck at once with the magnanimity of their
commander, and the ingenuity of his device to remind them of their duty.
Brief Explanation.–A French colonel, in taking a redoubt from the
Russians on the Moskwa, lost twelve hundred of his men, more than one
half of whom remained dead in the entrenchment which they had so
energetically carried. When Bonaparte the next morning reviewed this
regiment, he asked the colonel w

As some of you may know, i recently had to reset my phone and consequently, I've had to redo everything, and get the spam for it! :irked:.

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Yes, you got the correct email! :irked:. next time I'll remember to give them a fake one!. :irked:
Now I'm not going to include all the "Dearest" emails or the "you've won" spams. but remember, YOUR bank will NEVER ask you to, "Click here" to enter your security info!! :insane:.

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